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Do you ever get so frustrated with yourself?
Right now I'm at the point where I'm so very, very frustrated with myself. I look at other people and look at their success, and I ask myself, why the hell am I not that successful? The people I look at are people at my age, and we basically had the same ideas, except I'm left behind and I find myself so incredibly frustrated. And I hate that feeling.
It's not jealousy, there might be an element of that but the large feeling I have is: frustration and impatience with myself because I feel like I could be doing better except I self sabotage and its just so infuriating. I'm a workaholic in the wrong ways and about the wrong things. If there's something that truly matters I procrastinate and I hem and haw and psych myself out and its just so. damned. frustrating. If I could I would shake myself.
Like, dammit, why can't I do better. I know I can but dammit I'm so tired of it, I want to tear my hair out because of how annoyed it makes me. I've been reading a lot of self-help books and just dammit. I want to start now but I don't know how and I feel like I'm mired in this feeling. And yes provide value provide value, but I also need money dammit. Its like I'm in this twisted knot in my head that I need to get rid off. I need to do better for my sake, so I can also help out my family.
Its a weird feeling being comfortable and on edge. I'm comfortable because of certain things and that's really bad too because it makes me stationary but I also hate feeling on edge. Something has to give.
Right now I'm at the point where I'm so very, very frustrated with myself. I look at other people and look at their success, and I ask myself, why the hell am I not that successful? The people I look at are people at my age, and we basically had the same ideas, except I'm left behind and I find myself so incredibly frustrated. And I hate that feeling.
It's not jealousy, there might be an element of that but the large feeling I have is: frustration and impatience with myself because I feel like I could be doing better except I self sabotage and its just so infuriating. I'm a workaholic in the wrong ways and about the wrong things. If there's something that truly matters I procrastinate and I hem and haw and psych myself out and its just so. damned. frustrating. If I could I would shake myself.
Like, dammit, why can't I do better. I know I can but dammit I'm so tired of it, I want to tear my hair out because of how annoyed it makes me. I've been reading a lot of self-help books and just dammit. I want to start now but I don't know how and I feel like I'm mired in this feeling. And yes provide value provide value, but I also need money dammit. Its like I'm in this twisted knot in my head that I need to get rid off. I need to do better for my sake, so I can also help out my family.
Its a weird feeling being comfortable and on edge. I'm comfortable because of certain things and that's really bad too because it makes me stationary but I also hate feeling on edge. Something has to give.