grimorie | [rewatch] Life 1x11 - Fill it Up (Reply)

Okay, I finally, finally made it to Life's Season 1 season finale and its still so beautiful as the day I first saw it.

The way it plays so beautifully with the dynamic between *all* of Charlie’s partners.

All through the season I thought Dani Reese had a thin veneer of barely concealed contempt towards Charlie’s former partner, Stark and it was really fantastic to learn that it was *deliberate* and that Stark felt it too that’s why he was so antagonistic towards Dani too.

(In season 2 that completely disappears, well except for that one scene with Tidwell but we all know how I feel about that mess.)

And in ‘Fill it Up’ it comes to a head with Stark finally confronting Dani but not before poking her at the things she was sore at: her drug use (low blow since he was there when Dani admitted, practically to her whole squad what she went through during her stint undercover and her addiction) and being Captain Jack Reese’s kid.

It was probably something that haunted Dani the first moment she stepped inside the Academy and IMO this is the reason why she was pulled out from the Academy (this was never really *in* canon but it was information Sarah Shahi relayed during an interview, I think in season 1 DVD) and right into undercover work.

Something that was against regulations, putting a green cadet fresh out of the Academy and straight into a situation that would put Dani in danger.

But then in season 2 finale Charlie discovered that his partner (Tom Seybolt) really was never in business with Kyle Hollis, that it was Mikey Rayborn's play to turn Charlie into a dirty cop. Rayborn did this to Charlie, I'm betting dollars to donuts it was the same thing at play with Jack Reese, and worse, to Dani, who was both the pawn and the target.

I think Jack's conscience was getting to him, hence why he gave away his cut of the money and why he started taking care of Rachel, so Rayborn needed another way to control Jack, and the best way?

Dani Reese. Make the people close to the cop dirty and the cop becomes dirty too.

And maybe that kept Jack in line, maybe that's why he was so furious why Crews was involving Dani into his off books investigations.** He was kept on the leash but Dani still fell in the hell hole and I don't think Rayborn thought Dani would ever escape from that, except she *did*.

She clawed her way back to being cleaned and was on track for getting her life back. And then she was partnered with Crews.

The main reason, the main reason why Dani had such contempt for Stark was because Stark didn't back up Charlie's testimony, and because of this, Crews was thrown into prison for 12 years. And that wasn't something Dani could forgive easily.

Except, everything is complicated too, because IAD put the hooks on Stark and threatened him with prison. And you know what? Dani really can't blame Stark for that, because Stark told the truth. He never saw how Charlie hurt his hands and he couldn't back Charlie up with that.

Dani understood that, after Stark told her and then, Stark turned the question around for her. Would she lie if IAD placed the same pressure on Dani?

We never heard Dani's answer (on account of the python about to wrap itself around Stark and she rescues his life) but we didn't need an answer because she's answered that question since the first time she was partnered with Charlie. Dani lived by an iron clad code, written in her bones. She was a cop's kid and fierce loyalty was instilled in her. She's loyal to the people who disappointed her again and again.

She protected Charlie the first time against Davis, and she backed Charlie up again and again. Her belief and faith and Charlie never shook, even the time Roman took her. Because no matter Charlie’s secrets, he never once failed her. And that was all she asked for the people in her life. Dani will walk through hell for them, and she all she asks is they don’t fail her, not when it mattered. Charlie never did.

When Charlie went away to do ‘something’ Dani was annoyed he didn’t tell her, that he didn’t speak to her but when she realized this was something important (also she knows the sound of a gun being loaded) all Dani asked was: This something I should know?

All Charlie said: Probably not.

That was the end of that discussion.

And oh man, I forgot how intense and beautiful the music was during this episode, and how intense Charlie was facing off with Kyle in the orange grove, and the scene before that, where he was looking down at Kyle and he told Kyle exactly what happened to him all that time in solitary. Charlie’s eyes were the color of ice and his whole face was set.

“You shouldn’t have killed my friends, Kyle.”

After all this time, its still chilling.

Then, right after… confronting Jack on the roof while he asked Stark *and* Dani to put Kyle Hollis in the police car. “And now I’m connected to you.” He tells Jack as Jack watches his daughter put his confidential informant in a police car. The same confidential informant that killed the Seybolt family. The family Charlie went to prison for, his friends.

"I thought I told you to keep my daughter out of this."

"Your daughter doesn’t know who I’m up here talking with, her partner said he needed her and that’s all she needed."

Again, that fierce loyalty there in practice, if not said out loud.

But, also, Charlie looking out for Dani: ‘Get right with your daughter.’ He urges Jack but Jack declines and so Charlie leaves him there looking down at the street below them.

In that moment we don’t know what he was thinking, we’ll never know now really we can speculate.

Then, the scene where Charlie, his partners, Stark bringing up the back, holding on to Hollis, Charlie at the middle and Dani leading the way with a proud smile on her face.

'Its a long way down/ welcome back to your place/ I hope you know it now/'

This is the song that’s playing at the scene.

And then at the very end, Jack plays his two daughters against Charlie, or at least, the one he considers the daughter he did right with, he holds hostage so Charlie won’t reveal what he’s done to Dani, the daughter he failed and disappointed again and again.

And dammit, it was so beautiful, everything about the story, how complex the relationships are, everything holding on a thread and the thread is Dani who is willfully keeping herself out of it and yet, can’t keep herself out of it because she suspects what’s going on, and she’s too damned loyal to stay out of it for good.

Season 2 had a lot of things wrong, and it all starts with Dani, it all starts with how the plot contrived to make Dani ignorant and frustratingly *not* curious, or at least, frustratingly in denial about her father’s involvement.)

The final few episodes saved the series for me (the ending matters a lot, if there’s one thing I learned from ‘Life’ and ‘HIMYM’, the ending matters a whole damned lot).

But I’ve always hated how they kept Dani in the dark in season 2, when season 1 seemed to be leading up to Dani knowing, hell, the slides for season 2 episode 1 ‘Find Your Happy Place’ had Dani *asking* the question it took the Dani until episode 12, Re-Entry to ask! Its so frustrating that they went the other way somewhere in the writer’s room. Because Dani was far, far more involved in the plot in the slides and then they changed it.

Still, Life, Season 1? Might not be perfect, it had some slow build ups but for what it is? To me it will always be perfect.