Time For Another One Of These

Apr. 22nd, 2025 07:43 pm
astrogirl: (Ford)
[personal profile] astrogirl
Chapter 6 of "Congratulations on Your Apotheosis" is up. And leaves me feeling like I really should apologize to the characters.
musesfool: (shakespeare got to get paid son)
[personal profile] musesfool
Today's poem:

I Have News for You

There are people who do not see a broken playground swing
as a symbol of ruined childhood

and there are people who don't interpret the behavior
of a fly in a motel room as a mocking representation of their thought process.

There are people who don't walk past an empty swimming pool
and think about past pleasures unrecoverable

and then stand there blocking the sidewalk for other pedestrians.
I have read about a town somewhere in California where human beings

do not send their sinuous feeder roots
deep into the potting soil of others' emotional lives

as if they were greedy six-year-olds
sucking the last half-inch of milkshake up through a noisy straw;

and other persons in the Midwest who can kiss without
debating the imperialist baggage of heterosexuality.

Do you see that creamy, lemon-yellow moon?
There are some people, unlike me and you,

who do not yearn after fame or love or quantities of money as
         unattainable as that moon;
thus, they do not later
         have to waste more time
defaming the object of their former ardor.

Or consequently run and crucify themselves
in some solitary midnight Starbucks Golgotha.

I have news for you—
there are people who get up in the morning and cross a room

and open a window to let the sweet breeze in
and let it touch them all over their faces and bodies.

--Tony Hoagland

*

(no subject)

Apr. 22nd, 2025 10:41 pm
marina: (:D happy Gracie!)
[personal profile] marina
Well, it's been 2 weeks since my last post, so here's an update.

mentions of health issues )

*

In job news, something pretty huge and happy-making has happened???

One of the 4 companies I interviewed with has gotten back to me (after like 7 stages) to say they want me to work for them and they'll send me a contract offer in the next few days (which is standard). Fingers crossed, nothing certain until papers are signed etc, but. BUT.

It's been over a year, and finally I have a job offer.

At least one company wants to pay me a decent salary with all the nice perks and everything.

Now, if I had no other offers and was not in the running for any other position, I would take this one IN A HEARTBEAT. I would take it and be SO GRATEFUL.

But since I am still somehow in the process with 3 other companies, I'm in the weird position of mentally wondering which one I'd choose if they were to make me an offer.

Company #2 - I've finished all the interviews, and they're supposed to get back to me tomorrow on whether they want to check my references, which usually takes 1-2 days and is more of a formality. There's good reason to assume that if they say yes to me tomorrow they'll make me an offer next week.

Company #3 - I'm doing my final interview with them on Thursday, a big presentation, and after that they'll let me know if they're interested, no reference checks. If they want me they'll just make an offer.

Company #4 - the actual company of my heart, that all other considerations aside I would probably choose to work for because I love their product so much - I'm doing my final interview with them on Monday (next week). Of course they have the WORST HR process, so I actually have no idea what their next step is and whether there's something else they'll want to do before deciding yay/nay after Monday.

Now I'm mostly stressed because Company #1, that's already told me they want me, will probably try to pressure me to finalize a contract with them before Company #4 has a chance to decide whether they want me, sigh.

All of these potential roles are so good. None of them are "I can live with that" compromises. All of them are amazing, it's more a question of specific types of amazing, and of course I ideally want the combination that works best for me.

It is utterly surreal to be in this position after a year and 2 months of being unemployed. UTTERLY SURREAL.

But you know, maybe all the other companies will reject me and only Company #1 will remain, which will still be perfectly fine and even great.

Or maybe I somehow manage to fuck up this whole thing and will be left with nothing ////o\\\\ IDK it's just too good to be true at the moment.

Phew. Deep breath. The next 2 weeks will be continued stress, especially since I have a big presentation on Thursday and on Monday, but then... then. I don't know. Maybe, just maybe. *fingers crossed*

(no subject)

Apr. 22nd, 2025 08:39 am
aurumcalendula: gold, blue, orange, and purple shapes on a black background (Default)
[personal profile] aurumcalendula
As of the other day, Reading the Remnants now has a complete fan translation! I enjoyed both the main story and the extras and I'm hoping more people will check it out!

Lately my executive function's been non-cooperative for things that aren't reading. I'm hoping to make more progress on the timing stuff I've been helping with this week/weekend (I'm kinda embarrassed about how long this installment's taking me).

this picnic is no picnic

Apr. 21st, 2025 06:08 pm
musesfool: Princess Leia (so what level up)
[personal profile] musesfool
Monday miscellany:

- So what are the odds we get an antipope this time in addition to a pope?

- Sepinwall gave season 2 of Andor a good review (minor spoilers, I guess) - the first 3 episodes drop tomorrow and it sounds like they are doing 3 episodes a week for 4 weeks, as each one comprises a mini-arc. Trying not to get spoiled on the internet is sure to be a nightmare.

- I haven't done the AO3 stats meme regularly since 2018 because not much changes in my top 10. In 2021, however, I made note of some up-and-comers in the 11-20 slots, and it turns out that as of 4/20/25, Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc (i.e., the one where Dick convinces Jason to stop killing through the power of hugs) has crept into the top 10 by hits - it's number 9! (It looks like Our history is just in our blood (history, like love, is never enough) (the Steve/Bucky remix AU where Steve finds Bucky working as a barista) is the one that fell out of the top 10.)

Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc also made inroads into the top 10 by kudos, landing at number 5! Additionally, 2 Star Wars stories also found their way into the top 10 by kudos: There's Still Time to Change the Road You're On (in which Anakin time travels to the post-RotJ era and meets his kids) at 6, and deep as a secret nobody knows (AU where Leia tells Vader she's Padme's daughter and it changes everything) at number 8!

The 3 Avengers stories that dropped are again, Our history is just in our blood (history, like love, is never enough), plus Even a Miracle Needs a Hand (Clint/Darcy fake Christmas boyfriend), and with the lights out, it's less dangerous (Steve/Bucky, then and now).

According to these posts, I did not previously do the full list by comments, but I will note the appearance of deep as a secret nobody knows at number 3 on the comments list, and another Vader-and-Leia AU, Just a Little Bit of History Repeating, at number 10, with the VMars/Avengers crossover we travel without seatbelts on sitting pretty at number 7.

So I guess given enough time, these things CAN change.

- Today's poem:

Nothing Will Warn You
by Stephen Dunn

Nothing will warn you,
not even the promise of severe weather
or the threats of neighbors muttered
under their breath, unheard by the sonar

in you that no longer functions.
You'll be expecting blue skies, perhaps
a picnic at which you'll be anticipating
a reward for being the best handler

of raw meat in a county known
for its per capita cases of salmonella.
You'll have no memory of those women
with old grievances nor will you guess

that small bulge in one of their purses
could be a derringer. You'll be opening
a cold one, thinking this is the life,
this is the very life I've always wanted.

Nothing will warn you,
no one will blurt out that this picnic
is no picnic, the clouds in the west
will be darkly billowing toward you,

and you will not hear your neighbors'
conspiratorial whispers. You'll be
readying yourself to tell the joke
no one has ever laughed at, the joke

someone would have told you by now
is only funny if told on yourself, but no one
has ever liked you enough to say so.
Even your wife never warned you.

***

Easter happened AT me this year.

Apr. 21st, 2025 01:07 pm
aj: (caffeine)
[personal profile] aj
I feel mildly disrespected by the Christian high holy day.

Honestly, I did have a nice weekend. I got to hang out with my niece's kids (and my niece and my SIL), and when you actually get them talking, they are just cool little people who are becoming more themselves as they grow. They both had a lot of questions about their genetic lineage, which. Y'all. How I know THIS MUCH about people I'm related to by marriage when they themselves know almost zero is kind of boggling. Kiddo #5 was DEEPLY confused that they have Eastern European (Russian) ancestry. I very much cracked up when they yelled "But! I'm Russian Jewish, not RUSSIAN."

On a related note, I got to inform them that Christopher Columbus was a horrible person, and both Kiddo #5 and #6 asked their grandma (my SIL) to remind them to look up Christopher Columbus' journals when they turned 18. I also told them to watch the OSP video about the myth of El Dorado because they've got indigenous Mexican heritage, and fuck Spain.

We also all went out for Mexican food for dinner and peletas for afters. 12/10, Chicagoland Mexican food be doin' it, you know it's FR when they have fresh giardiniera on the table. ESPECIALLY w/the big bits of carrot and cauliflower. Also found out they opened a Tortilleria Atotonilco in comfy distance of mom's, which is my absolute favorite Chicago brand. El Milagro and Nueva Leon are wider loved, but Atotonilco always delivers fresh to my store (they are WARM when I get them!), so <3

As for Easter inconveniencing me, after brunch the crew headed home and I caught the Metra downtown. I was supposed to pick up a library book on Saturday, but PLANNING to leave my home at 8am and ACTUALLY leaving my home at 8am on a Saturday are two very different realities. I drove over when I got home on Sunday, but NOPE. INCONVENIENCED BY EASTER. I guess it makes sense as Chicago is like, CATHOLIC Catholic, but BOO. Luckily, the pet store is owned by heathens, so the girls got their food. I remain a little sad that pepper and egg sandwiches will be mildly harder to source, but whoo, bye, Lent.

Plus, I guess I get to go on an adventure tomorrow? The library branch I'm picking my book up at is just a bit further down the Metra line than my normal stop, and is open til 8 on Tuesday. There's also a bus back home, so there's tomorrow's adventure set.

Last, but not least, I have ordered the last of this year's Tax Refund Splurge. I ordered two CTA t-shirts. I am currently wearing the CPL life-long learning t-shirt. OH! And if any of y'all are interested in supporting the Chicago Public Library, they're having a sale right now! T-shirts are $14!

Catching up on various shows

Apr. 21st, 2025 06:19 pm
selenak: (Demerzel and Terminus)
[personal profile] selenak
Daredevil Reborn: overall, good finale. I'm not shipping anyone on this show (or its predecessor), but I was amused, given that Luke Cage managed to make "coffee" a synonym for sex back in the Netflix day for all the Marvel shows, that Frank expressed the wish for coffee with both Matt and Karen. (Not at the same time.) On a more serious note, the finale evidently went for an Empire Strikes Back vibe in that spoilery stuff happens )

Wheel of Time S3 finale: speaking of Empire Strikes Back vibes... Though in this case just in one plot line. Okay, two, technically. (The second one being Team Elayne, Matt, Min and Nyneave not gaining what they wanted to, but what Nynayve did get was so important that I hesitate to equate this with the goings on at the White Tower.) This, too, is based on a book series written many years ago, and was shot way back when yours truly hoped the world would be less insane in 2025 than it actually is, but can't help but feel extremely on point with its spoiilery stuff )

Doctor Who ?.02: amusingly weird, technically impressive, everyone looks gorgeous in their costumes. But Fourth Wall Breaking stories are not really my thing, and so I can't say I loved it.

(no subject)

Apr. 20th, 2025 07:45 pm
lirazel: CJ Cregg from The West Wing and the text "Wow are you stupid" ([tv] wow are you stupid)
[personal profile] lirazel
I'm having a thought and I need to write it out to see whether I agree with myself.

I'm reading More Than Words: How To Think About Writing in the Age of AI by John Warner, which is excellent (review to come on Wednesday) and a certain chapter combined with a topic that's been on my mind lately, creating a realization that is shaking me.

A thing I keep coming back to again and again lately is that the determining aspect of the current administration is their definition of strength, which seems to be standing alone. Being totally independent. You see this in Trump, et al.'s foreign policy, in which the end goal seems to be to completely alienate all other nations of the world. This is obviously a profoundly stupid idea because it's self-defeating. But it makes sense if you believe that any dependence whatsoever on another is weakness. This is why they hate the idea of a give-and-take, we-both-benefit arrangement, even though that is objectively the best way for human individuals, societies, and nations to operate. They don't even want the US to have less-powerful allies that are dependent upon us (think NATO) because if anyone else benefits, then that shows weakness in us. Hence: tariffs. This is a worldview in which anyone else getting anything means that we are being taken advantage of.

The one exception to this is having people grovel. These guys, especially Trump, love when people grovel because it feeds their egos. The only acceptable kind of relationships to have are with enemies and bootlickers. Period.

They have a horror of responsibility, and these two relationships are the only two that don’t require them to be responsible to or for anyone else.

This is all deeply related to gender, since strength = masculinity, so masculinity = standing alone. Any kind of cooperation or symbiotic relationship or even just mutual exchange is female-coded and so both weak and contemptible.

Anyway, I've been thinking about all that, and then I've been reading this book, and I came to a chapter where Warner talks about educational technology and how the past century or so has been the story of one person after another trying to invent a "teaching machine" to solve the "problem" of education. Warner asks, reasonably: "What is this problem they are trying to solve?"


"...the 'problem' the teaching machines are trying to solve is the inherent variability and messiness of learning. In order to circumvent these challenges, the students must be changed from a human into a product. Once students are a product, we can use our machines to shape them.

"The teaching machines keep failing because humanity gets in the way. For the teaching machine to succeed, we will have to decide that some aspects of our humanity are unimportant or inherently flawed, leaving us better off if we're governed by the outputs desired by the machines."


I read this, and it all came together. (Which would delight Warner because the book is about how reading and writing are ways of thinking and feeling and cannot be banished in favor of mere information-intake.)

The thing holding the tech bros and the MAGA politicians together, besides their lust for money and power, is hatred of human-ness.

These people share a profound, worldview-determining antisocial-ness that drives everything they do. They hate humans. They hate being human. They hate when other people are human.

They want to turn people into productivity machines or obedient automatons. They don't want people to be people.

They hate the messiness, the time it takes to do all the things that make us human. They hate the way it requires cooperation and inefficiencies like mistakes. They actually hate learning, wanting to replace it with a system that's similar to a computer downloading a new program. They hate art because they think it's a waste of time and its only purpose is as a little "treat" to incentivize us to work harder. They hate actual relationships because those require vulnerability, dependence, and sacrifice. Most of them actually seem to hate sex except as a way of asserting (violent) power over others. They view children not as human beings but extensions of themselves.

Underneath all this, I think there must be either a profound fear of and/or rage against vulnerability and aging, so it's no surprise that these people are also obsessed with living forever and "optimizing" their health. They are constantly fighting the human body and the human mind. Probably because they're scared of death.

Now, we're all scared of death. But most of us throughout human history have been wise enough to know that the solution to that is community. Make your mark on other people, leave a legacy, plant trees for your grandchildren to sit under. Leave people who will remember you fondly. Maybe even leave some art that will move generations to come. But that view of the world is being increasingly undermined by our culture's values and incentives.

Our culture has been on a trajectory towards this for a long time. When you view the world as a market, when productivity, efficiency, out-puts, and end-products are the only things that matter, you are going to end up hating human beings because we cannot be reduced to these things no matter how or corporate and political and technological overlords try.

If you look at it this way, fascism and the AI/crypto/NFT hype are both declarations of war against our humanity. I'm sure there's a literature about fascism as hatred of humanity, though I am not knowledgeable about it. But these AI people really seem to believe that a machine will be better than a human. And why shouldn't they think that? Humans require food and rest and songs and hobbies and mistakes and negotiations and cuddles and sex and art and time, and if you don't value any of those things, of course a machine that is purely focused on the most efficient output is an upgrade.

This realization makes Severance more relevant to me, since the central technology of that show is creating a way to outsource all the pain/monotony/discomforts of life so you can skip right to the "good stuff." This, of course, reveals that the creators do not understand that the messiness of life, all the friction and grit, are the point, and that we are not human without them. But if you don't want to be human, of course you'll figure out ways to jettison these things.


Understanding all of this makes me understand why I so viscerally hate the AI hype. I do think there are some limited ways in which AI could be very helpful, but the hype isn't that. The hype is, "You won't have to write! You won't have to do your own research! You won't have to take the time to learn an instrument! You don't have to be human! Think of all the time you'll save!" And that hype never once acknowledges that if you do save that time...there will be nothing worthwhile to use it on. What is the center of their view of a good life? Nothing. They don't think about it. There's no there there. It's productivity and efficiency for its own sake; it's capitalism taken to the ultimate extreme.

No wonder I hate it.



And now that I've written all that out, doing my thinking through the practice of writing, I see that I do think I'm right. Probably I am just slow and y'all have all realized all this long before I did. But it's a profound realization for me, and it leaves me more energized to fight against both fascism and technocracy. The most terrifying thing about our current moment is that the people who have the most power to shape our lives and the future of humanity are the people who hate humanity the most. They are the most immature, foolish, and thoughtless people imaginable. We can't let them win.

Easter Wells 2025

Apr. 20th, 2025 01:53 pm
selenak: (Linda by Beatlemaniac90)
[personal profile] selenak
Even Darth Real Life is not able to keep me from my annual Easter Well sight seeing, or the pic spam based on it. Happy Easter to all who celebrate, and hopefully good holidays to everyone:


Heiligenstadt gesamt


More Easter Wells await beneath the cut )
shallowness: Side profile of BTVS's Tara looking upwards with text reading 'grace notes' above (Dark Tara grace notes)
[personal profile] shallowness
Mostly satisfying, if at times confusing, season’s finale, Read more... )
alethia: (GK Doc)
[personal profile] alethia
Full-time job writing The Pitt fic, that's me!

Bring Me to Life (6021 words) by Alethia
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Pitt (TV)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Jack Abbot/Michael "Robby" Robinavitch
Characters: Jack Abbot (The Pitt), Michael "Robby" Robinavitch
Additional Tags: Season/Series 01, Post-Season/Series 01, Episode Related, Complicated Relationships, Developing Relationship, Feelings, Porn, boys getting pissy with each other, jack talks him through it, In several ways, did i mention the porn
Summary:

"I want to be alone, Jack," Robby said, short and sharp and pissy.

Fucking great. Apparently in the 45 minutes since Jack had last seen him, Robby had gone from devastation to anger. This would be fun.

"It's nice to want things," he drawled, deliberately light. "I wanted to walk out of Iraq on my own two feet, but hey. No plan survives contact with the enemy and all that."

Robby turned then, looking at him over the top of the couch, face drawn, eyes dark in the low lights. "Yeah? You my enemy?"

Happy Saturday

Apr. 19th, 2025 04:20 pm
cofax7: XKCD boom de yada (Boom de Yada)
[personal profile] cofax7
Hey folks!

Still alive, still employed! Booyah.

Not loving the job right now: it's never boring, but I had never intended to be a manager of people, and it's really quite stressful. Plus, you know, ::waves vaguely:: the omnishambles of everything is not helping.

But I did take the Tornado out for a 7-mile hike this morning, and she behaved quite well, and we just did some agility practice, and she got six weave poles in a row! Five times! So great. (If you have never seen dog agility, it looks like this, although that's one of the top dogs in the UK, and the Tornado is just beginning her agility journey.)

I call her the Tornado because she is Very. High. Energy. (And tends to knock things over.) I fear she will be one of the dogs barking all the way through the agility course.

Anyway, I'm planning some vacation time this summer, although it feels a little weird to be planning an international trip at this time. I plan to do some judicious app-deletion before coming back through Customs, because that's the world we live in right now.

Currently very excited about both Andor and Murderbot! I've already gotten a tiny bit spoiled for Andor, so I think I will have to lock down my browsing for the next few days. I understand the next Star Wars animated show (after Underworld) is also going to be about Darth Maul, and I'm kind of dubious, but maybe they can do something interesting with it. Myself, I would rather have learned more about Omega's adventures in the Rebellion.

I'm halfway through this month's book for book club, but it's heavy going: Therese Raquin, by Zola. I have liked Zola: he's very grounded, very vivid. Not at all romantic. But these characters are really very unlikeable. I may end up skimming a lot to finish by Tuesday.

***

I feel like I'm running out of plotty time-travel fixit fics in which determined heroes (and heroines) go back in time and prevent the errors of their forebearers. I suspect I have not found the right tags on AO3...

In other news, I am listening to Mind the Tags, a charming podcast about fandom, specifically fic-writing fandom. And although the hosts are quite nice, they're so young, and I found myself talking back to them as they fumbled their way through a discussion of the early days of alt.tv.x-files.creative. They tried to talk about show-specific archives and auto-archiving and never even mentioned Ephemeral and Gossamer! There are plenty of us fandom Olds still around!

(Although, how cool is it that Gossamer is still up? WTF.)

Still, it's a very friendly and upbeat podcast full of enthusiasm for fandom and fannish institutions, so I encourage y'all to give it a try if that's the sort of thing you enjoy. I found them because one of the hosts got interviewed by Anne Helen Peterson on her Culture Study podcast, which is also great.

In other other news, I lined up a group of local pals to go see our local minor league baseball team next month! So that will be fun! I like minor-league baseball because it's cheap and low-stakes and you can sit outside and drink beer and eat corn dogs and it doesn't really matter except you're there with a crowd and it's just fun. And all the seats are good.

the indivisible wave of your body

Apr. 19th, 2025 05:40 pm
musesfool: hardison/parker/eliot = ot3 (your desire for explosions and larceny)
[personal profile] musesfool
I made these confetti cookies from Smitten Kitchen this afternoon (pic), but unfortunately, they are way too sweet for me. They are really easy to put together though, especially with the food processor, since you don't need to soften the butter and cream cheese before you get started, and there's no need to chill them before baking.

In other news, I watched the 3 available episodes of season 3 of Leverage: Redemption and enjoyed them, though there was some cognitive dissonance in seeing Noah Wyle as Harry Wilson after 15 intense episodes of The Pitt. Aldis Hodge gets more handsome every time I see him, and the gloves have come off in terms of the writing - they are not even playing anymore about how stuff that is legal still isn't right. Plus, there have been some fun guest stars: casting spoilers ) I look forward to the rest of the season!

***

I haven't posted any Neruda in a while, so here's today's poem:

Sonnet XLVI

Of all the stars I admired, drenched
in various rivers and mists,
I chose only the one I love.
Since then I sleep with the night.

Of all the waves, one wave and another wave,
green sea, green chill, branchings of green,
I chose only the one wave,
the indivisible wave of your body.

All the waterdrops, all the roots,
all the threads of light gathered to me here;
they came to me sooner or later.

I wanted your hair, all for myself.
From all the graces my homeland offered
I chose only your savage heart.

-Pablo Neruda
(Trans. ???)

***

Happy 2778 to all who celebrate!

Apr. 19th, 2025 07:58 pm
dhampyresa: (Default)
[personal profile] dhampyresa
AUC, babyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

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